But here we are, and pride be damned. I want today to be the start of something.
I’m always cautious to “make a public commitment” to start a new program, because what if I forget to update? What if I get lazy? What if I stop caring? Do I write about that? What if I get too busy to post the blog, and what if I stop eating right, and what if I don’t go to the gym? What if my knees start hurting and it doesn’t make medical sense to go to the gym? What if I run out of good food and only want peanut butter? What if I embarrass myself by starting something publicly and then stop?
I’m not grossly obese. This is probably not going to be a radical transformation over 6 weeks. I’m flabby and smushy and barely physically fit enough to do the things I want to do.
A year ago, I was working out a few times every week and my knees could support my chosen activities (mostly hiking).
Two years ago, I was working out regularly and just coming off of a very strict Whole30 phase – the first diet to work for me in a long time. I hardly drank at all. I was dedicated to clean living and clear thinking.
Three years ago, I was drinking a bottle of wine every day and scarfing down any food that appealed to me (mostly nachos). I had given up. I was at my highest weight in two decades: 176. I tried to get a handle on my eating, but as long as I was drinking a bottle of wine every night, eating right was something I could only handle for a few days before I caved into whatever garbage my husband was eating (mostly nachos).
And now? Now I’m none of those things. I’m 157.7 lbs. I’m not at the peak of my weight, but I’m 20 lbs from my ideal. I’m not completely incapable of doing the things I want to do physically, but they take quite a lot of effort. It’s just uncomfortable, not incapacitating.
But this isn’t what I want to be. At 44, I feel like there could be more… not just a thinner me, but more capability of my body. I’m an entrepreneur heading up a company at the verge of a big leap of growth – we assembled a board and are looking for the right investor – and I want to be mentally and physically up for the challenge of the next four or five years, since I know the focus and energy required will be significant.
So today is DAY 1.
I’m planning on posting every day.
Today, we’re starting off strong with the Whole30, which I mentioned earlier. I’m also re-reading The Gabriel Method, which made a lot of sense to me on a spiritual and emotional level when I read it a decade or so ago. I’ve got James Clear’s new and awesome book Atomic Habits and I ordered Transformation from Bill Phillips, who successfully motivated me to work out for many months back in the early 2000s. I’m tapping into EVERYTHING that has motivated me in fitness and life so far.
I’m clearing out the fridge and cupboards and hiding all the non-compliant foods, and replacing them with healthful, nutritious food that will serve as fuel for this new, exciting stage of my life.
At just a shade over 44, I know I’m getting ready to start the rest of my life – I’m not even at middle age, and the first 20ish years of my life were spent in a weird blur, so hardly count. My plan is to live to be more than 120 and enjoy the vitality and enthusiasm for life that my mom has in her mid-70s. My whole life is truly ahead of me.